Beyond Words Bonus Scene
from: Skywalker <themanwhofoundyourjournal@imail.com>
to: Katydid <getoveryourself@imail.com>
subject: Miss me?
Do you know I kept all our old emails? I couldn’t delete them. They’re too special. And you know me, I delete everything in my inbox as soon as I read them. But not you. Not even from day one. I have everything you’ve ever written to me and everything I’ve ever written to you.
Sometimes, when I read through them, I roll my eyes at how existential I got. It’s like I was trying to find the meaning of life through our conversations, or worse yet, had the balls to think I already knew the meaning of life and felt the need to share. Can’t believe I did that with a stranger, but again, I must have known from the very beginning there was something special about you. I needed to get all that out of my head, to talk to someone who listened, who understood, and lucky for me, that someone was you.
There are other times, though, as I read our messages to each other, I wonder how I was so blind. Your heart and soul were right there for me to see from day one. There’s no doubt that Cat Wallace and Katydid were one and the same. How did I never put two and two together?
I guess the coincidence was just too much. I found your journal in Texas. Then I met you in Florida. Who in his right mind could believe you got a job at my family’s hotel at the exact same time I moved home?
The one thing that never changes is the fact that I know exactly why I fell in love with you. You’re everything I ever wanted. Everything I ever needed. You’re so fucking special, my love. Thank you for loving me.
from: Katydid <getoveryourself@imail.com>
to: Skywalker <themanwhofoundyourjournal@imail.com>
subject: re: Miss me?
Did you know I kept all our old emails too? I love reading them. It helps me remember why I love you when you’re snoring in bed next to me.
from: Skywalker <themanwhofoundyourjournal@imail.com>
to: Katydid <getoveryourself@imail.com>
subject: Lies and defamation!
I do not snore.
from: Katydid <getoveryourself@imail.com>
to: Skywalker <themanwhofoundyourjournal@imail.com>
subject: Honest to a fault
You do now that the nightmares have stopped.
from: Skywalker <themanwhofoundyourjournal@imail.com>
to: Katydid <getoveryourself@imail.com>
subject: More lies!
I do not snore.
from: Katydid <getoveryourself@imail.com>
to: Skywalker <themanwhofoundyourjournal@imail.com>
subject: Still honest to a fault
Okay. When you’re ‘loudly purring’ in bed next to me…if that makes you feel better.
from: Skywalker <themanwhofoundyourjournal@imail.com>
to: Katydid <getoveryourself@imail.com>
subject: Tick tock, love
It doesn’t make me feel better at all. By the way, aren’t you supposed to be getting ready to go out?
from: Katydid <getoveryourself@imail.com>
to: Skywalker <themanwhofoundyourjournal@imail.com>
subject: Interruption much?
You’re right. I am supposed to be getting ready. But this hot guy keeps emailing me and I don’t know what to do. How can I not drop everything to flirt with a sexy Marine?
from: Skywalker <themanwhofoundyourjournal@imail.com>
to: Katydid <getoveryourself@imail.com>
subject: Broken hearted
You’re flirting with a ‘sexy Marine’ while I’m getting ready to take you on a date? Oh, Katycat. I thought surviving Afghanistan was the hardest thing I’d ever lived through. But knowing this? This pain is another level entirely.
By the way, you’re a very beautiful woman.
I can’t take my eyes off you.
***
Perched on the edge of the bed in our room, I lowered my phone to find Lucas leaning in the doorway, smiling. His large hands ran through the thick, honey-blonde hair that fascinated me so much the day I met him. A white button down shone against tan skin, stretching across broad shoulders. The sight of him warmed my heart while my soul sang with…what?
What was I feeling, looking at this man, my husband?
Love…
Adoration…
Completion…
Safety…
All of these complex emotions, wrapped into something I knew I’d feel for the rest of my life, as we lived happily ever after until we were old and gray.
Even now, smiling at me from the doorway, Lucas exuded confidence and control. When we first met, I knew he was a warrior. A Viking. Standing before him that day, I felt small and helpless. But now, I felt whole. Safe. Seen and understood.
He took my breath away.
Transfixed, I returned his smile. “You realize you’re sinfully good looking, right?”
“I’m nothing compared to you.” Lucas slipped his phone into his pocket. “You all done flirting with your so-called sexy Marine? I want to take you out on the town and show you off to the world.”
I stood and crossed the room. “I don’t know that I’ll ever be done flirting with my sexy Marine,” I said, pressing my hands to his chest and leaning in for a kiss.
“Good.” He slid his fingers into my hair and held my gaze for a long moment. The love and longing that glistened in his eyes warmed my soul. “I don’t think I’d know how to live if you weren’t mine.”
“I’ll always be yours. You claimed me the moment I read your entry in my journal.”
A private smile lifted his lips. “I don’t know what possessed me to do that. To read a stranger’s private thoughts. To leave a comment.”
Fate, whispered a small voice in the back of my mind. Destiny.
“Probably your unending confidence that you know the right way to do a thing,” I said instead.
Lucas arched a brow as he took my hand and stalked into the room, his eyes glinting with something wicked and wonderful. Something that made me think we might miss our dinner reservations. “Oh, is that it?” he asked.
“Most definitely,” I replied, following behind.
He swooped me into his arms and I shrieked in surprise as he deposited me on the bed. My hair fanned out across the pillows, his hands on either side of my head, his body caging me in.
“I thought you liked the way I did things,” he said, before leaning in to brush his lips against mine, trailing kisses down my jaw, along my neck, his hands sliding under my shirt.
“I…” I arched my back as he cupped a breast.
“In fact, I thought my way of doing things is so right, I brought your body back to life.” He pulled back to meet my gaze. “Or am I remembering that wrong?”
Energy sizzled through my nerve endings. His touch electrified me. A low hum coursing along my skin, settling low and wonderful in my belly.
“You’re definitely doing…something,” I managed.
“Something, huh?” He tweaked a nipple. “That’s not quite the ecstasy I had in mind.”
I pushed up on my elbows to meet his eyes, then dropped my head back on the pillow as his lips and fingers worked their magic. “Won’t we be late for our reservation?”
“Fuck the reservation.” He yanked my shirt over my head and stared down at me. “I don’t give two shits about dinner when you look like that.”
***
Later that evening, we made our way back to the burger place we’d found the night he commandeered my Jeep to take me off-roading. My hair was mussed from being in his bed and we were both overdressed, but who cared? Certainly not us.
“How do you just keep getting more beautiful?” Lucas asked as he swirled a fry in his ketchup.
I swiped at my hair, trying to tidy it up a bit. “It must have something to do with my body coming back to life. Or was it ecstasy? I can’t remember.”
“That’s got to be it. The ecstasy.” He took his straw between his lips and I couldn’t help but stare. How could something so simple be so sexy? “You know, that first night we ate here,” he said, “I was all torn up because I thought I was falling for two different women. I felt genuine guilt, even though I wasn’t actually with either of you…which is ridiculous…”
I shook my head. “I don’t think it’s ridiculous. I think it’s sweet. It’s just another reminder of how thoughtful you are. Worrying so much about other people’s feelings... Thinking deep thoughts… It’s part of what makes you wonderful.”
He grinned as he popped a fry in his mouth and a sense of homecoming swept through me. Lucas Hutton was intense, overwhelming even, but now his inner light shone through more and more frequently. What used to be little glimpses of his vulnerable side had become long periods of him happy, smiling, joking. Was this the power of love in action? Was this part of his healing?
Did I have something to do with his transformation?
Because if I did, if that gorgeous smile had anything to do with me, then I felt like I’d been given the greatest gift in the world.
“What?” Lucas cocked his head in question.
“Nothing.” I shook my head and slurped at my soda.
“Don’t you ‘nothing’ me. I can see a giant ‘something’ written all over your face.” He pointed a fry my way then crunched it between his teeth.
“I’m just glad to see you happy, that’s all. The man I met had so much, I don’t know, baggage? Is that the right word?”
“You tell me, KatyCat.”
“There was a darkness to you. This…weight. You seemed like you’d lost your way in the world…”
“And now you think I’ve found it?”
“The nightmares have stopped. You and Wyatt are doing amazing things, running The Hut together. You have direction. Purpose.”
“I have you.”
I put a hand to my heart. “I’d like to think I had something to do with it.”
Lucas took my hand. “You have everything to do with it.”
“I think, maybe, we had something to do with it. I’ve grown just as much. Changed just as much. Together, we’re pretty unstoppable, you know?”
My husband met my eyes, his brows drawing together. “Which is why I have a pretty important question to ask you.”
“Seems like it might be serious.” I quirked my head as he bit his lip, the intensity that used to make me so nervous tightening his features.
“I know we said we’d wait to have kids, but I don’t think we should. I think we should start trying now.”
After our wedding, the idea of starting a family had come up, but we decided to wait. While we only wanted one or two children of our own, we wanted them to get the whole big family experience through their cousins. With Lucas’ brothers and sister so far from a serious relationship, we chose to hold off on having our first child until they could catch up.
“But what about the plan?” I asked.
“Screw the plan.”
The last thing I wanted was for our firstborn to grow up alone, like me, and yet, the more I thought about having a baby, the more my smile grew.
“You’re thinking about it.” Lucas sat back, a satisfied grin lighting his face. “I can see it right there, in the way you’re looking at me.” He lifted his drink and pointed it my way.
I quirked my head. “I mean…maybe?”
Something about the impulsivity of the whole thing made me think my mom would have loved it, which obviously meant my dad would wholeheartedly disapprove.
“What made you change your mind?” I asked.
Lucas pushed his burger away and leaned forward, elbows on the table. “One of the lessons I learned after what happened overseas is that we’re not guaranteed anything in life. Every second that ticks by is a blessing and a gift because the next one might not come. I spent too long thinking the best I could be was not sad and now…” He let out a long sigh and took my hands. “I cherish you Cat. I wake up every day wondering if I’m dreaming because I’m fucking ecstatic knowing you’re mine and I’m yours. I want to share that with our child and I don’t want anything to get in the way of that. I don’t want to wait for the perfect time, only to find we’ve missed the window. I can’t stand the thought of taking even one moment of our life for granted.”
And for some reason, I found myself saying yes. Maybe because I’d lived too long listening to my dad’s voice in my head. Maybe it was the passion in Lucas’s eyes. Or maybe, like him, I couldn’t stand the thought of wasting even a single second of happiness.
“Okay.” I nodded, sitting up straighter. “Do I just…stop taking the pill?”
Lucas’s eyes lit up. “You’re serious?”
“Yeah. Let’s do this. Let’s make a baby.”
He gathered his trash and stood, fishing in his pocket for his keys. “Let’s go, babe.”
My jaw dropped. “Oh you mean right now?”
“Of course I mean right now.” He helped me stand and pressed his forehead to mine. “If you’re saying you’re ready to hop into bed with me, I’m not wasting one more minute.”
“I don’t think it works that way. I think the pill needs to work its way out of my system…”
Lucas frowned. “I think you’re missing the spirit of the situation here…”
You’d approve of this, wouldn’t you Mom? I thought, as he took my hand and led me toward the car. I know you would. I can feel it.
And I did. This sense of her wrapped around me. I saw her sitting in her chair by the ocean, her hair blowing in the wind as she tilted her head back and laughed. Her voice—“There’s my Katydid!”—coming to me on the breeze.
Chills flared across my skin and I closed my eyes, desperate to catch that feeling…to catch it and hold onto it forever.
“Everything okay?” Lucas murmured, his eyes gentle. Questioning.
I nodded, freeing my voice from my thickening throat. “I think Mom likes that we’re doing it this way.”
His eyes softened as he cupped my cheek. “I’m sure she does.”
Loosing a sigh, I snuggled into him. “I am too.”
And, there, wrapped in the safety of the man who was my forever and the nostalgia of the woman who gave me life, I smiled, then lost myself to daydreams of starting our own Hutton family.
But only for a second, because Lucas hurried me into the passenger seat and drove home in record time, where he spent an entire evening reminding me how much I loved having my body brought back to life.